Losing My Song

There has been a lot going on over the last 5 years and even more over the last 12 years since I got hurt. The kids are growing up and next year the oldest is heading off to college. As a family we have had a lot of fun, worked though a bunch of hard times and made a lot of memories. While doing all of this I have been learning how to deal with growing nightmares and PTSD related to the fire accident and the recovery from it.  

This last summer we had more fire than usual in the western states, meaning I was away from home more than usual. I love working on an incident management team because I am able to be myself and use the gifts God gave me to serve others during some of the hardest times of their lives. What made this summer unique is that I was in a season of life where I was broken and hopeless. I wasn’t sure how I got there and I was desperately looking for a way to get out. Little did I know, this fire season was what I needed. I needed to “find my song”.

Back in high school I was at a retreat and the speaker talked about “your song”; the thing in each of us that makes us tick, the thing that makes each of us different, the song that tells the story of what God is doing in and through each of us. I remember saying to myself “that’s cute”, and am pretty sure I never thought about it again until this summer. One night in central Montana this summer, I was evaluating life while gazing at the stars with all their brilliant beauty while the entire western horizon was glowing red with fire. As I lay in the back of my pickup watching the stars it started to make sense. As I laid there I realized I not only stopped singing my song, I put it in a box and lost it. 

What I realized is that I lost my song because I started listening to a group of people around me without questioning if their input was valid. They picked apart my podcast list, the music that spoke to me, mentors in my life, my life experiences, the books I was reading and even what I was learning in my personal Bible studies. Looking back I realized it was easier to stop listening and reading what I needed than fielding all the personal opinions of those around me. The natural progression was then to give up who I was for the same reason. The end result is “I lost my song”.

It wasn’t until the long summer out in Montana, where I got to be me without this group’s influence, that I found my song again. I had given up who I was for a group of people who are willing to naively sacrifice others for their own dreams, a group of people that asked me for my help, but really wanted me to do what they wanted at my expense, people who are impatient and willing to take every shortcut to get to where they want to go. I did this because they asked for my help and their dreams were and are the same as many of mine. But unlike working on a fire team, they are unwilling or incapable of working as a team, a team with mutual respect, a team worried about each other before yourself, a team that realizes that you don’t sacrifice another for personal gain, but you sacrifice together to save lives. 

I am not laying blame on these people for what happened, it was me that gave up who I was for them. It has been a hard lesson to learn. Most lessons have a sting to them. Like most lessons, however; it has been rewarding to see what happens when you live them out. A good friend unexpectedly passed away this last weekend and is the reason for this blog entry. Because I learned this lesson, we got to spend some much needed time together before he passed away. He and I talked about spending time together for four years but could never seem to make it happen because both of us were guilty of putting other people’s agendas before our call. Fortunately we were granted the chance to spend some great days in the boat together, gaining insight and wisdom that I would have lost if I hadn’t learned this lesson. Don’t give up who God made you to be for other people. It is hard to live with purpose when you give up who you are. It is impossible to go where God called you if you get off the road because of everyone’s personal opinions. So what is your song, your story and your call? Don’t be hindered by others, sing it, tell it and share it without apology. 

Geremy Olson

Outdoorsman, Producer, Firefighter & Public Speaker

241ink.org

Keeping the Fun in Fishing

The day started out the way you can only dream of for a fall fishing trip. It was an early morning with temperatures in the mid 30s, steam just pouring off Lake Sakakawea in North Dakota and we knew we are coming home with limits of fish. After getting to our spot we drop the jigs in the water, bang had a fish right away. For the better part of an hour or so we caught fish, hooted and hollered and just plain old had a good time. And that's when it happened, another boat came to the “community hole” we were fishing at and they could have changed everything.

The new boat was way nicer than ours, the rods were way more expensive than ours and from the looks of it the two gentlemen had way more time to fish than we did. But we definitely had something in our boat they did not have in theirs. And that was fun. What's interesting is that these two guys were catching just as many fish as we were, they just weren’t catching the fish they wanted to catch. In fact, if we weren't careful these two could've easily ruined our day of fishing. Because instead of laughing and having a great time together on the water they were complaining and swearing about how bad every fish they caught was, how stupid every fish that took one of the lures was. For us it probably wouldn’t have been so bad, in fact, I probably wouldn't even be writing this story if these two gentlemen wouldn't have been so close that they could probably have grabbed jigs out of our tackle  box. Which made it almost impossible to not hear every complaint about every fish that they encountered.

I'll admit that my initial reaction was to look at my buddy Mike and whisper “I'm writing a blog about these two”. I couldn't wait to get home and start talking about how these two guys could be out fishing on a beautiful fall day and literally do nothing but complain. However it's not because I want to make fun of these two guys. They just happened be great examples of what we all end up doing as part of our day-to-day lives. We love to make things more important than they really are and lose track of what is important. When it comes to fishing, one of the most important things is to have fun. Now that doesn't mean we don't encounter hard times you know like the nasty rainstorm on the one day you get to go fishing or the boat breaks down at the most inopportune time. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't still have fun.

When I look back on life, it’s amazing all the lessons I've learned and all the people I've met because things didn't go the way I thought they should. That's the trouble with great expectations, we miss out on not only a lot of fun, but also a lot of great people and even more life lessons. That's why I love taking my kids fishing. It's the perfect way to have fun together while enjoying nature's beauty and most importantly not having a clue what’s in store for the trip. Fishing gives you the opportunity to head out with a plan and still have fun regardless of how things go. Like great stories you get to hear when you sit in a small café with a bunch old timers when you get rained out. Or all of the new places you get to find when your fishing spot is taken by somebody else or the ice is too soft to go pike fishing in the spring. Or as Mike and I learned, it’s not worth getting grumpy because somebody was fishing to close or complaining the entire time they were too close.

That's why it's important to keep your perspective. We go fishing to see what we can accomplish to see if we can outsmart the fish and most importantly have a new story to tell later. And regardless if you're a weekend warrior or a professional angler working hard to earn a living, we're out there to enjoy life. So next time you're on the water, remember why you're there, share some time in the boat with your friends, enjoy the company of the boats next to you, appreciate the fact that every fish you catch is more than the one the guy sitting at the office or at home is catching. At the end of the day, Mike and I didn’t catch the limits of fish that we knew we were going to catch when we started out but we sure did have fun trying.

No Bull

I was the kid that was made fun of and picked on repeatedly growing up. So my insights on this topic come from not only learning how to deal with bullying but on how to overcome this issue…not only with people, but emotionally as well. One thing we all need to remember is that every bully is someone who has some sort of power, but is extremely insecure in their own life. Belittling and hurting others is the only way that they know how to have value in their own life. The second thing that we need to remember is that church and societal culture over the last 50 years has made bullying possible to the levels that it’s gotten to because of the untrue philosophy of “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all”. Nothing stops a bully faster than someone who stands up for themselves. And nothing makes bullying more possible than someone who doesn’t feel that they are allowed to defend themselves. Each of us has to ask ourselves this one question, “who determines our value?” Many people determine their value based on what other people think. Others determine their value on their self worth. The trouble with this is that setting our value on our own sinful nature or someone else’s sinful nature is that we devalue ourselves. It’s not until you truly understand that God created you with a purpose and regardless of what happens in your life, the value that God has given you remains constant. This same God created you with a body that protects itself, if you feel heat-you react to protect yourself. Why is it that when your body tells you that you are about to be hurt physically OR emotionally by someone, the church and society today tells you that you can’t defend yourself and hopes that someone else will fix the problem. Does this mean that if you accidentally burn yourself on the stove that you need to leave your hand sit there burning until someone else can come and protect you? Definitely not!!! The same goes for our interaction with other people. It is ok, Scripturally, to ignore somebody and walk away if they are treating you wrongly. I am sure this isn’t politically correct, but as a kid, it’s ok to punch somebody in the nose and tell them to leave me alone, as an adult, it’s ok to tell someone to “shut up and leave me alone!” Not because that’s what’s in your heart, but that’s what bullies understand. What we all need to remember, is that regardless of what society and churches teach us today about just being nice to everybody, the Bible teaches us that there is a time and a place for defending ourselves and others. There is a time and a place for taking action to protect ourselves and others. A great example of this: Was Jesus being nice when He took the time to build a whip and chase the “bullies” out of the temple? No, He was protecting His Father’s house and the people who were unable to defend themselves. Why did He do this??? He did it because He loves us. And sometimes loving people requires discipline and justice. And at the same time, He loved the same people He was chasing out of the temple. We, too, need to come to grips with the understanding that it’s ok to defend ourselves and STILL love someone and that God won’t take our “heaven card” away because we weren’t being nice. If anyone else has questions, feel free to get ahold of me at 241ink.org.

Signed,
“Stupid Dyslexic Kid” who is actually succeeding in the world, regardless of what everyone told him as a kid!

Geremy

I Want

You know when your kids come to you with the ever-famous question “I want...” and they don’t realize what it takes to get those things?

 Are adults any different?? 

Go to almost any church in America today and you will hear these statements: “I want young people in this church, I want our church to grow, I want a good youth program, I want...I want...I want.” 

Over the last few years, my husband and I have worked with many churches and organizations who have asked us “what do we need to do to make our want a reality?” A majority of the time, when presented with a Biblical plan of action, the “I wants” turn into “I don’t want to”. 

Here are a few examples...

“We want high school students in our church!” But when the high school students came, they were told that they were too noisy and were literally locked out the church by members who didn’t want them there. {{I don’t need to expound on the fact that it was well below zero and that the kids stood outside waiting...}} 

“We want to reach young adults!” But they were unwilling to put any time, effort or money into internet ministries because “we don’t have time for that”. 

“We want everyone to be included!” But then the young families are told that if they can’t find childcare for their kids, don’t bother coming at all. 

“We want our church to grow!” But then you hear, “but don’t expect us to work anymore than Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights.” 

“We just don’t understand why young women don’t want to come to activities!” But when given options on how to reach those women then they say, “No one ever did that for us, why should we do that for them?”  

“We want the parents to stay too!” But then those parents overhear church members throughout the community talking about how those kids and parents don’t meet their expectations. 

So, what do we tell our kids??? Stop. Being. Selfish.

We tell our kids that we need to think about others before ourselves. But as you can tell by these examples, and countless other true stories, that churches have forgot that lesson. 

So instead of telling you what I think you should do, let’s just see what God has to say about it.

Galatians 6:7

Don't be misled: No one makes a fool of God. What a person plants, he will harvest. The person who plants selfishness, ignoring the needs of others—ignoring God!—harvests a crop of weeds. All he'll have to show for his life is weeds! But the one who plants in response to God, letting God's Spirit do the growth work in him, harvests a crop of real life, eternal life.

Deuteronomy 15:7a

When you happen on someone who's in trouble or needs help among your people with whom you live in this land that God, your God, is giving you, don't look the other way pretending you don't see him. Don't keep a tight grip on your purse. No. Look at him, open your purse, lend whatever and as much as he needs. Don't count the cost. Don't listen to that selfish voice...

Galatians 5:16a

My counsel is this: Live freely, animated and motivated by God's Spirit. Then you won't feed the compulsions of selfishness.

James 4:2-4

When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

It’s not about us. It’s about what Christ does for us. And the only way to share that love with others is by unselfishly caring for other people. 

These “I want” Christians that we’re talking about have forgotten how to be kind. Stop being mean and start caring about people in Jesus’ name. Think about how your words and actions will affect others and their eternity. 

What we need to remember is this: Our one and only focus is what Jesus is calling us to do; to humbly share the Gospel thru our actions and our words. When you do that, God will use you in ways that you would never expect.

Kirsten

Isolation

One of the most heartbreaking things today is the movement to isolate our children from the world in the name of protecting them from sin. Recently, there was an article written in a rather prominent Christian magazine that was a call to action for Christians to take their kids out of all public schools in America. Why are we as Christian leaders arguing about the troubles of an institution that was left to the ravages of the lost, because of our own arrogance in thinking that we can do life “more perfect” in our own churches? As you can imagine, with a topic this hot, there was a huge amount of discussion following the article. Most of the people in this discussion have forgotten that we as Christians are called to be IN the world and not OF it. We are NOT supposed to be good examples of the “bruised and bleeding” Pharisees who acted so perfect that they would not even look at sin. Those people avoided sin to the point of walking into things. What if Jesus had this mindset, that He should not look at sin? Where would we be? I haven’t researched it yet, but I would guess that most of the people arguing the point that we should get out of public schools are the same people wondering why 94% of churches in America are in decline. Could it be that they have removed themselves from the sick and hurting of the world to the point that they have no one else to minister to?

After 25+ years of ministry, Bible college and private Christian schools, I have found that it is a whole lot easier to follow God’s word, to stay faithful to His calling and gain the support needed~IN the world, IN the public schools, IN the colleges and universities that are not infested with this pharisaical mindset.

So as not to fall into the same trap of the people complaining and discussing how to stay AWAY from the world that He has called us to lead to Him, let’s talk solutions.

In a recent survey of our community, people stated that they wanted to know more about God but no one would tell them about Him, or they didn’t know where to go to ask about God where they weren’t condemned. So my husband and I are starting a Bible study for those who genuinely want to know who God is. We take an active part in our community so that people can see what God can do for them by what He’s done for us. We make ourselves available to those who have questions about who God is and we answer those questions genuinely and without belittling them for asking. But most importantly, we are raising our 4 kids to love people as Christ loved them, teaching them how to stand up for their faith in any situation. Not just the ones that the church thinks they should be exposed to, but the situations that God provides. We do this so that they do not have to be exposed to the hypocrisy of the “perfect church mindset”, but to live with an example of Godly people sharing Christ’s love to everyone regardless of their situation or status, the way that Christ loves us. We do this so that our kids will be an example to others, just as we have been an example to them. 

And for anyone who thinks this is just someone ranting and raving, let the fruits of our ministry speak for themselves. We have seen 1,000’s believe and follow Jesus and 100’s go into the mission fields by following God’s call into the world; where the sick, the dying and the lost are, the ones God has called us to share the Gospel.

Kirsten

>100%

Go to almost any church in America and you can hear someone say “you need to give everything to Jesus”. While at the same time, as I write this, 94% of churches in America are in some rate of decline. Something that’s been on my heart for the last couple of years, working in and for several churches and ministries, is that churches say they want to change the world through their ministry but they don’t understand why they are not growing spiritually or in numbers.

(disclaimer: numbers of attendees or dollar figures are NOT what I am talking about in this blog)

One of the unseen, chronic habits of churches in this situation is this:
They ask people to give 100% of their lives to God but do not allow them the ability to practice it. I think the best place to start in this discussion is to realize that God gave each and every one of us gifts, talents, and life circumstances so that as a group of believers we can meet specific needs of the people that God will put before us. So what does this mean???

A church or ministry can not and must not try to follow a formula or template for meeting the needs of others. What we must do, is take a look at the people that God has provided and use them to meet the needs of the people that God puts before you-without man made barriers.

But take a look at any of the churches that fall into the 94% that are declining, and you will find an organization that unknowingly requires people to give less than 100% of their abilities to serve the God that has changed their lives. Churches do this by limiting resources, not letting go of past failures, legalistic behavior, putting personal preference above effective ministry, negativism, and the list goes on.

So how does this play out??

I would love to give you examples of this, but the reason I haven’t written this blog yet, is that every time I try to come up with an example, there are too many ways a person could look at it and completely miss the point.

Instead what we need to look at are some basic Biblical principles.

Don’t try to make your organization something it’s not! Take a good solid look at who is there, and who God has called you to minister to.
Provide the resources for the people in your organization to be creative to their fullest potential as God leads them. Don’t ask them to give God their all and then not give them the resources available to you.
Don’t get angry, upset, annoyed, offended, hassled, inconvenienced, or bothered by God providing you with people, gifts and talents that are outside your comfort zone.
Remind yourself that your personal opinion does not equal God’s will or truth.
Realize that change is not bad.
Are you prayerfully, as a body, working together to follow God’s call?

The solution to this problem is simple, but admittedly one of the hardest things to do. Simply ask yourself, “how have I, through my words or actions, told someone that they can’t give 100% of their gifts to God”. If you can’t find any, look harder, they’re there! Then, as a group, intentionally create an environment where people can give God 100% without fear of being shut down.

Geremy

The Wrong Question

In the movie IRobot, Detective Del Spooner, played by Will Smith, is investigating the death of a dear friend, Doctor Alfred Lanning, the father of the three laws of Robotics.  At first, the Doctor’s death appears to be suicide, but then, aided by a holographic “memory” of the now deceased doctor, the detective begins suspecting foul play.  To the first few questions asked to the holograph the response was not what Detective Spooner wanted, they focused on why he, a homicide detective would be called on for a suicide.  Finally the Detective switched his perspective and asked the question differently, from the Doctor’s perspective, 

     

"That, Detective is the right question."  

While the Doctor doesn't answer directly the question burning in the brain of the Detective, his response gives the Detective the path that will ultimately lead to a final showdown with the evil that is running amuck in this sci-fi film. 

This exchange echoes in my head and heart as I have sought of late to change my perspective on life and ask the right questions. 

I lost my job in April, it was unexpected and abrupt as terminations usually are.  This began a journey over the next 9 months of looking for a new job, all the while wondering what good I was and questioning God and why he would allow me and my family to suffer this pain and potentially disastrous financial fallout. 

“Why can't I just get a job?”

“Why can't I take care of my family?”

“Why are you playing with me?” 

“Why won’t anyone hire me?”

Then something happened and I stopped blaming God.  My questions turned deeper, and began seeking God.

“God, what do I need to learn from this time?”

“How can I  praise you in this storm?”

“Help me be a Godly father during this trial”

“This hurts, please comfort us in our pain!”

You know what happened?  I still couldn’t find a job, but what I found was much more than a job, I found a place of peace.  I realized that God had never left me and my family.  I was just looking in the wrong places for Him.  Like detective Spooner I believe I was asking the wrong question.  My questions to God were "Me" centered, selfish. 

Do I believe God cares about my job? Well, yes and no.  Yes he cares for our housing and food and clothing; read the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew. But He is more concerned with the greater issues of my heart than with the issues of my pocketbook and especially my pride.  

Now, before I declare myself cured of all selfishness and errant thoughts you should know that I am still very much in the midst of this process.  I wanted to write about it though, because as I look around I see so many people suffering and hurting as businesses fail, houses are taken away, and lives are torn apart and all. This, seemingly, while God just “stands by” and watches.  You and I are not the first to accuse God of ignoring those in pain, look at the Bible for the story of Job, a man who had everything he needed in life and suddenly it was all taken from him?  Job had a right to be ticked, and ticked he was.  Sitting on the ground covered in ashes listening to the “advice” of some friends, Job unleashes his feelings about his life: 

"Why does God bother giving light to the miserable, why bother keeping bitter people alive, Those who want in the worst way to die, and can't, who can't imagine anything better than death, Who count the day of their death and burial the happiest day of their life? What's the point of life when it doesn't make sense, when God blocks all the roads to meaning?” 

Brutal. 

Don’t be afraid to tell God how you feel, He can take it.  But after you get it all out, spend some time listening to what God is telling you.  He does love you and He does care about your every day needs.  Even Job, before he has everything restored remembered God, 

“Still, I know that God lives—the One who gives me back my life—and eventually he'll take his stand on earth. And I'll see him—even though I get skinned alive!—see God myself, with my very own eyes. Oh, how I long for that day!”

A bit dramatic maybe, I don’t think I will get skinned alive, at least not in this country.  But I do long for the day when I will see God with my own eyes, I pray I will be ready.  This pain and suffering is God getting me ready, purifying me, purifying you.  Don’t waste this time, and this pain, seek after God with all you have and see what He does.  I’ll be honest, it may suck, Jesus does not promise us an easy life. John, one of Jesus’ friends and disciples, who wrote about His life chronicled this discussion with the other disciples. 

“Jesus answered them, "Do you finally believe? In fact, you're about to make a run for it—saving your own skins and abandoning me. But I'm not abandoned. The Father is with me. I've told you all this so that trusting me, you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace. In this godless world you will continue to experience difficulties. But take heart! I've conquered the world." 

Only Jesus can promise you peace.  Only Jesus knows the path you and I are on.  In the words of John Fischer, “I’m just one old hungry beggar, showing you where I found food.” 

Phil